Permanent Oneness

By Gary Patton

What importance does marriage have in God’s eternal purpose? What are the central matters in marriage that must be recognized and respected by all mankind? What is marriage?

These are important questions that must be answered to guide how we think of our roles and personal responsibilities in marriage.

What is marriage? In Genesis 2, in the work of naming God’s animals, Adam recognized that each animal had a companion but, he didn’t. He was the only person made in God’s image and likeness. There was no one like him. In recognition of Adam’s aloneness, God put Adam in a deep sleep took from his side, and created Eve in His image and likeness (spirit), according to and complementary to Adam’s physical image. Adam called her “woman” because she was taken out of him.

For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother, and be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh (Genesis 2:22-25). Homosexuality or Fornication of any kind is not created, ordained, or beneficial for any relational practices in society. She was taken from the man in the sense of entity.

Her female identity was produced from “man the entity.” She is a part of man. She was taken from his side (his body). She is his side helper. Not above-helper nor below-helper, but beside him for life companionship. There is no other gender identity created by God other than male and female.

God brought Eve to Adam to be his wife. God put them together in marriage. Adam recognizes her as “bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh.” This is why husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies, (Ephesians 5:28). There is an authoritative responsibility to husbands to treat and protect their wives as a part of man and not like the animals who were not made after God’s image. Eve is Adam’s first human (blood) relative and only spouse. The first marriage was instituted by God.

Eve was to be his helpmeet and he was to cleave (keep close) bond with her, Genesis 2:21-24.

So again, what is marriage? What is its eternal purpose?

Since the woman was taken out of the man, it could be stated: “putting back together that which was separated, or making complete that which was incomplete, reuniting that which was taken apart, making two into one.” This statement implies that prior to God’s action, Adam was “without a suitable or fit companion.”

What determines whether she is suitable for Adam? Does a college degree make her a suitable helpmeet? What about her personality, traditions, experience, talents, beauty?

That’s part of the attraction but, what truly makes all of those aspects of her person valuable is “the Image and likeness of God” placed in her being that makes her unique and suitable for him (Gen. 1:26-27). This means that as a created spirit, her being was “cut out of God Himself” as Adam was and “taken out of Adam’s body,” to be a suitable representative of God and relating in correspondence to Adam as wife.

In the first institution of marriage, what was supposed to be the greater recognition that makes marriage work? The reality is that “God created male and female in the image and likeness of Himself, not a marriage license per se.” They were to acknowledge and adhere to Him as their Creator. They were to be “one” not “two” independents though capable, not to separate or divorce but, operating together as one human entity.

No matter what Adam did or accomplished before Eve, he was still alone, without a suitable companion: no one to relate to, no one to share anything with, nothing to work for, because there were no people besides himself. No one to lead, raise, teach anything to or learn from, have intimacy with, be family with, friendship with, be a neighbor to, etc. Without Eve, Adam could not see the complete value of who he was. Without Adam, Eve could not be a wife, parent, etc. because God made their attraction to each other to be based on Image, blood relations, and physical form.

Does that mean that no one benefits from remaining unmarried? No. In 1 Corinthians 7:32-35, the unmarried has the benefit of serving the Lord without distractions. Those who are married must concern themselves with pleasing their spouse as well as the Lord. The goal in marriage is not to express an attitude or behavior of independence, competitive or combative spirit, but, of unity, partnership, harmony, intimacy, and oneness.

In this divine design, God did not intend for male and female to be in continual discord, disharmony, disrespect, and disloyalty, in the battle against each other. There are many issues in this world to be separated over, so, how is oneness to be established? How do we keep from divorce or from feeling like we’re divorced while we are married? Remember to recognize that you did not create your spouse nor yourself, but God did so listen to Him only, Genesis 1:26, 27; Malachi 2:10-15; Mt. 19:4-6.

Fulfill the requirements of your marriage covenant between God, yourself, and your spouse, 1 Corinthians 7:2-5. Since male and female are “man” made in God’s image, how do we acknowledge this if we exercise a will that fails to offer each other body in the marriage act? Do not seek to prostitute while under contract with original spouse, 1 Corinthians 6:15-20. Prostitution is a mindset and behavior that the devil uses through our flesh to destroy the “Image and Likeness union that God instituted,” to bless the future families and nations to come.

Paul gives exhortation about how to strengthen unity in the church which relates also to marriage in Ephesians 5:21, “voluntary mutual submission” in each other’s God-given role in the relationship, not control of each other. It’s easier for husbands to lead in marriage if they are not being outranked in making marriage and family business decisions, challenging and nagging (vs. 22-26).

In Eph. 5:22, a wife’s service to the Lord is voluntarily ranking herself under her own husband and head admonition. It doesn’t always mean that we husbands will or have always picked the right direction or course of action in matters. This can be difficult when the wife is more experienced or aware, of what needs to happen. Because of this reality, in Eph. 5:25, husbands’ service unto the Lord is to Love their wives just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, (26) that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word.” This part of the reading reveals to men in marriage the example that Christ has set where He offered His body and blood on the Cross to free the church which is identified as a wife from the guilt of sin.

The husband must love his wife so as to listen, care, and respect his own wife’s interests and concerns almost to the neglect of everyone else’s besides God. When husbands lead without considering our wife’s needs and concerns then, we are giving them reasons to complain and nag us. We husbands should not abusively be the source of our wife’s guilt. The husband is to find joy in her as his own treasured possession and is willing to give up anything besides God that competes with her interests and influence in family life.

If the wife is treated as sacred by her husband then she should not have a problem yielding to his direction or decisions because she knows that he does these things while keeping her concerns and interests in mind. He thinks of her as he thinks of himself, Eph. 5:29. It is through this continual practice that the marriage relationship is cared for and therefore, matures.

Finally, the importance of marriage is not buying a house, making a six-figure salary, not our jobs or careers (though important), not paying bills, not raising children, not entertaining friends or being at church fellowships, not owning land or investing in stock options, etc. These may have been lifestyle choices due to being married, but let’s be real about it, if many of these lifestyle choices are not maintained once they are obtained, these issues will test the integrity and quality of the oneness.

Marriage is the male and female image and likeness of God being made and growing in oneness in their relationship. This is the practice of caring for the relationship so that it operates in a state of maturity that brings about security and peace. God’s purpose here seems to be “Male and Female operating in oneness together as God’s image and likeness.”

Questions:

What has been your understanding of what marriage is based on your witness of parents or guardians?
In Genesis 2:18, what condition prompted God to create a wife for Adam?
To what purpose was Eve taken out of Adam as his helpmeet to be, to do, to fulfill since he was alone? (Look at Genesis 2:18, 20, 22-25).
Why was Elohim concerned about Adam being alone? ( Look at Genesis 1:28)
Looking at the same verse, how is Eve’s role as helpmeet supposed to help the image/ likeness covenant cause?
What was Adam’s covenant responsibility to Eve as his wife? (How was she to correspond to Adam)? Genesis 2:16-17
When God made Eve and brought her to him, who did he recognize her as? Genesis 2:23
What is God’s institution of marriage supported by the words of Genesis 2:24?
“Leaving to be joined?”
What does this institution speak against in (Matthew 19:4-6; 1 Corinthians 6:15-20)?
Why were they naked and unashamed before God, in each other’s presence in Genesis 2:25? (Look at Genesis 3:7, 10)
How does the divine institution of male and female image and likeness in the marriage covenant influence Paul’s teaching on the relational role between Christ and the church concerning the importance of submission? (Genesis 1:26-28; 2:18, 22-25; Ephesians 5:21-32)
Under the view of male and female being made in God’s image and likeness, how should the role of headship be contemplated in marriage in order to perform the duties that could produce oneness growing? (Previous references)
Since submission is a divinely ascribed practice given to the Lord’s church through His institution of marriage between a male and female made in the image and likeness of God, how does the practice of Prostitution, Homosexuality, and Bisexuality, violate the cause of God’s image and likeness? (Genesis 1:26-27; Ephesians 5:21-33)
In marriage, where should the focused priority be in regard to strengthening the relationship?
What place does career, income, house, cars, finances, etc., have on the importance of the marriage?
How valuable should mutual submission be to each spouse’s role in the interest of improving relations in marital communication and sexual connection? ( consider Philippians 2:3-4)
Are you acting as “one flesh” if you’re not considering, submitting, not listening to, and making decisions independently of each other on a regular basis?
What is the purpose and desire that marriage is supposed to fulfill originally?
(Read Genesis 2:24-25)
When it comes to making household decisions concerning finances, personal goals, career, lifestyle, and hardships in the marriage between Head and helpmeet what recognition according to the creation of male and female should point the couple to the aim of mutual submission? Genesis 1:26-27
When disagreements happen between a husband, who is male and head, and his wife, who is female and helpmeet, is the struggle gender, marriage role, or image of God in them?
Which identity should be acknowledged in one’s mind in order to resolve marital conflict: gender, marital role, or image of God?

Comments: It is important to remember the context of this. God made man in the image and likeness of the triune God. He made him male and female. He took from Adam’s side and made Eve. God brought Eve to Adam in His Garden. Adam recognized that Eve came from him and was given to be his helpmeet. He was to be joined to her and she was to correspond with him. They were to be in a morally innocent state in their nakedness one to the other. This was their condition before the fall to sin and disobedience in Genesis 3:1-6. Permanent Oneness should be established and maintained through the active conviction that in the relationship we represent the Oneness of the Triune God. God is three Persons in complete union and harmony though He is One Divinity. Fornication and Chauvinism of any kind is an attack against the image and likeness of God.